This is a huge deal, and a priority in my life.
It’s who I am. That’s probably a scary sad thing, but I accept and embrace it.
I had a big Lexx fan site for years at grandfortuna.xanga.com, I blew it up and it disappeared because stuff, it’s back now as a hobby doing the biggest Lexx film study ever on the internet, and my blog host is obliterating (hopefully temporarily) all my cool html with a move to new servers that is taking months. So I stopped the film study, thought I’d be back on it by now, but that mess is making me crazy and I’m thinking very seriously of copying the html to another host now, like Blogger, more for redundancy than anything. I can’t wait another month or two for the ‘dust to settle’ with Xanga tech support. Eventually I hope it’s bigger and better than ever and will be the coolest, but for now, life is a little too much on hold and this isn’t cool.
The site stats before the server migration look like this. Site meter didn’t move with the servers, so it has stopped counting. It was pretty conservative, didn’t catch incoming that other trackers did, like anon browsing, proxies, repeat IPs, etc.
You can’t see this count at the bottom of my grandfortuna page anymore. Site meter went through a server move, too, so between this and the charts, that total count should be a lot higher if you add in the old days before I took down the original Lexx fan blog.
What you can’t see any more since the server migration is the internal view counts on each post, like the Lexx index, which is the most accurate, and quite a big count for just one post.
Because of Lexx, I have friends around the world. Thanks to Lexx being at the root of my motivation to go public, I am expanding across the internet in ways I hadn’t even planned on, lotta fun things falling into place.
Lexx is my hobby. It’s not really an obsession because I gave away my collection to various fans around the world and deleted most of my folders. I put away the DVDs and didn’t watch them for years. But because I got so involved in Lexx and the Lexx fandom for a couple of years, I’m pretty familiar with it, and when I need to unwind, I’m finding it very cathartic again to spend a little time breaking it down into screen grabs and blogging about the show. When I first got into Lexx it was my ticket out, my distraction from a very painful illness and a death in the family. I didn’t talk about my own stuff online, I talked about Lexx. I made Lexx my focus on long sleepless nights, during long boring shifts at work, through very scary and sad stuff I had to go through in my life. Lexx may seem silly to some, but for me it was a blissful reprieve. Perhaps a very odd one, but it worked.
I’ve grown. I don’t hide behind Lexx any more. I’m in other fandoms, and I don’t hesitate now to show my real face and talk about my real life, which is pretty rare in the Lexx fandom. I’ve expanded into the Merlin fandom and have mixed the two into my own little MerLexxian thing on twitter and syfydesigns. I’m working on pulling all my internet identities together, and I’m ready to be a solid real person in this world, not just some avatar with a fan obsession.
I love fans. I love the people behind the masks. I love that they create wonderful things distracting themselves from the bad days that they have, too. I’m glad to be connected to people all over the world, and I’m making some awesome and wonderful friends who mean a great deal to me, more than they can ever know. We can be very good for each other. Because I’m a MerLexxian, it’s not at all out of place for me to put this video here at the end of this post because I’m full of feels now.
And of course-