In a surprise turn of events I find myself nominated for a Shorty Award. This picture clicks up bigger if you want to see it better. It’s not every day you get to look this cool, so I did a full screen grab and caught the date and everything.
I suppose the first thing I must do is thank my supporters, who don’t have a clue how abruptly they cannonballed this aspie head first through a brand new pinball machine at the last minute. New toy, O BOY! And ever since then instead of doing the work I scheduled out, I’ve been brainlocked in making yet another profile on the interwebs.
I’m obviously nowhere near winning, but it’s fun just getting to splat myself into the mix, right? They want me to fill out profile questions, interview questions, make a campaign video, link my social networks, and give them “links to your best work on social media”, with a vague example of an URL with specific content vs a main social account user page. Brain screech, aspie on board- O.M.G. I need more detail. This is why I was assigned a legal supervisor over my financial reporting, I think the simplest instructions are VAGUE. Check it out.
Paste in links to your tweets, photos, Instagrams, Vines and more from 2013 to show the public and The Academy why you should win a Shorty Award. These must be URLs of specific content items you created (e.g. https://twitter.com/jkrums/status/1121915133) rather than your main social account user pages.
Ok, so am I supposed to use links that lead to other content FROM tweets? Or can I just list URLs that go straight to the content? And I ***just*** noticed it has to be from 2013 so I can’t use my top tweets from favstar. What do other people do, keep a list of their top tweets through the year to use for the Shorty Awards if they get nominated? They close nominations TOMORROW, I can’t believe my friends did this to me…
But it’s all in good fun. May as well play along. In case I get disqualified and they delete my profile, here is what I’ve got so far in my bio.
TELL THE WORLD ABOUT YOURSELF
Janika Banks skids wrecklessly across social media with a skewed point of view that can only spring from being born with Asperger’s and raised to kill and eat all her pets by her Mennonite father while finding solace in obsessing over science fiction after being abused by her mentally ill city girl mother. Spending adulthood in crippling pain only enhanced her keen determination to one day take over the world and hopefully develop the world’s first paisley feathered chicken breed. She currently owns 74 pairs of colorful footies purposely mismated and photographed, and has flying to Ireland to see bog bodies on her bucket list.
How do you or your organization use social media? What makes your use unique?
Janika Banks uses social media to annoy as many people as possible. It frequently backfires and she accidentally makes lots of friends.
These are the links I included. If I did it wrong, oh well.
Personally, I’d prefer to include a couple that have had less then 10 views apiece because I think the writing and content are so much stronger, but I think the point is showcasing the stuff that became the most popular.
There are 47 questions in the interview that I’m not going to put here. The first question I’m seeing is “How do you pronounce GIF?” Are they serious, they’re asking the click-> SURVEY QUEEN <-click to answer a whole bunch of inane questions, I’m going to have so much ~FUN~ with this!
Wait, I just noticed I have 5 nominations now. I’m rockin’ it, guys.
Anyway, nominations close at midnight EST tomorrow, and I assume they’ll want our profiles and interviews all done by then. I guess I’ll work on the interview questions for the sport of it, and maybe I’ll come back and paste them here along with my answers. If my Shorty Awards bio disappears, you’ll know I got disqualified, but I still think this was awesomely fun. The awards ceremony will happen on April 7, 2014 in New York City and will be live-streamed on the internet.
:edit: 2-18-14 Here is the interview.
THE SHORTY INTERVIEW WITH JANIKA BANKS
What inspires you to tweet?
The challenge of squeezing big thots into teeny tiny boxes is exhilarating.
What’s the most memorable Snapchat you’ve ever received?
I could say it’s none of ur biz & I’m not telling, which would still be true enough. I haz no snapchat.
Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?
@GhouliaChilds is the coolest dark food porn, @TheTweetOfGod & @StayPuft & @FailSign all rock, @XplodingUnicorn coolest blog posts
Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?
Jon Hendren @fart is my secret twitter fetish at 3 a.m. when I can’t sleep, I lay there stifling giggles.
What was the funniest trend you’ve seen?
#superbowlblackout THAT. WAS. AWESOME.
How has social media improved your life?
I’m not alone anymore. All y’alls are in my head with me now.
What’s your best tweet?
Current top favstar- Carl is getting Daryl hair, won’t be long till he starts carrying a little crossbow #TheWalkingDead pic.twitter.com/IJryi2lEmU
Who’s your role model on social media?
Jenny Lawson @TheBloggess, the coolest weird chick on twitter, awesome blog & hilarious book.
Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?
@StayPuft That is one crazy marshmallow.
Twitter or Facebook?
I saw something the other day about twitter & facebook getting married & having kids. I say bon chance! I’m not a side taker.
How do you imagine Twitter changing?
Sometimes I hear tweets in Stephen Hawking mode. I think that would be cool.
As a parent, coach, or role model tell us: How do you use social media to help others focus on all that is good in their lives? Don’t forget to submit a nomination for the #KeepGoodGoing award!
FOCUS! WORK!!! >=l Like that. I’m really good at getting to the point.
What are six things you could never do without?
Benadryl, lip balm, sox, hot chocolate, my chickens, & TWITTER.
Why should we vote for you?
Bcuz this is hilarious, & if you do I might give you one of my very special ultra rare #FF poems.
Why’d you start tweeting?
Specifically, to follow what was happening live with Merlin filming in Pierrefonds in France. I LOVE TWITTER.
Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn’t?
Everyone who tries to DM, PM, & text me individually wanting info or pix. I made my life public for a reason.
Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?
Really hate to jinx myself & say #BradleyJames bcuz it would def happen if he croaked ironically during filming or something.
What’s the most annoying social media trend?
Not posting pix of something ppl go out of their way to say is amazing. Phone is in ur hand, ur RIGHT THERE, tweet a pic, how hard is that?
What are some big Twitter faux pas?
Retweeting other ppl’s porn, spam, & hate, especially now that RTs infiltrate list feeds on phone apps.
What question are we not asking here that we should?
The obvious- would we like brain chips in our pets so they can tweet & we can see what they’re thinking? YES.
What’s the wildest experience you’ve had via social media?
Can’t tell ya, it’s going into the book. For reals.
How will the world change in the next year?
Sharknado 2 will complete Syfy’s conquest for world domination.
How much time you spend online?
If I dream about tweeting & blogging is it real? What if this whole thing is a dream? What if I wake up & the Shorty Awards don’t exist?
Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn’t already? If so, who?
If Wil Wheaton followed me I’d be set for life.
What feature should Twitter add?
Time travel. It would be easier to go back to last May than find a mobile tweet in my history that isn’t documented properly in my archive.
What’s the most interesting connection you’ve made through Twitter?
I tweeted a pic of the Tenth Doctor reading a book & tweeted that it was From Eternity to Here by @seanmcarroll & he RTd me #favephysicist
What will the internet be like in 50 years?
Seamless with no interface probs & something so entrenched in our lives that we can’t live without it continually. Too bad I’ll be dead.
In what ways do you waste the most time on social media?
I was once told to stop wasting time filling out silly surveys & posting them. LOOK AT ME NOW, NYAH, NYAH >=D
Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?
#MerLexxian originally for Merlin & Lexx fans but now it’s more about Pinky being a weirdo.
How do you decide what to tweet?
I think the bigger challenge is what NOT to tweet.
How long can you go without a tweet?
I’m up to 8 hours between tweets now. Before Christmas, Vizio had me gauged at round the clock tweeting 24/7 bcuz sleep disorder.
How do you make your tweets unique?
I elevate the mundane to speshul party status.
What is the weirdest or most inappropriate place you’ve ever made a social media post from?
I accidentally walked into the men’s restroom in Walmart while I was tweeting & @mattyboy5150 laughed at me.
Which family member do you wish was on Facebook? Which do you wish wasn’t on Facebook?
I wish my dad was on facebook so he could see it’s not a magical place that we all automatically get with our computers.
What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
I wish people on twitter would tweet pix straight from their phones instead of sharing from instagram, bcuz extra clicks & time to view.
What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?
I refuse to shorten Doctor Who for the sake of brevity. Everything else gets slaughtered.
Ever get called out for tweeting too much?
Everyone I know is grateful I tweet bcuz I stopped writing 10,000 word emails.
What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?
Ppl think I’m addicted to my phone, it’s more like I feel like I’m part of the Borg now, all those voices go thru my eyeballs into my head.
Why should people follow you?
People should follow me bcuz I read every single bio & learn where they are from, & list them into appropriate groups for more interaction.
What will the world be like 10 years from now?
I’m hoping we’ll have brain implants & tweet hands free, & get software downloads & upgrades in our sleep. Tech interface is slow right now.
How do you use Twitter in your professional life?
I use twitter to gauge live response vs search engine response, & list merging as a growth mechanism to drive more traffic thru links.
Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?
Twitter’s made my life BETTER, depression is easier to deal with, get real time news faster, laugh more, watch TV w/ ppl around the world.
Instagram, Vine or GIF?
GIF bcuz it pops right up in the feed without having to click and load.
What’s the funniest celebrity tweet you saw in this past year?
Funniest celeb tweet- Gary_R_Graham mocking AdamBaldwin & he replied w/ My Little Pony pic with his head on it saying I set fires to feel joy
140 characters of advice for a new user?
Noobs can do whatever they want as long as they don’t bomb my DMs. That goes for wizened biz ppls as well, don’t be a nidiot with DMs.
How do you pronounce GIF?
The first time I saw “GIF” I thought it was an acronym for a mathematical function.
Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?
I unfollowed a filmmaker with 42K followers bcuz he spammed my TL with porn going on in his house. Perv.