I’m having a hard time staying public. I made a PLAN, and if I don’t stick to it I may as well give up, walk away, disappear again. Ain’t gonna happen. All the same, s’tough.
Need to briefly whine-
All those years I waited as patiently as I could for relief from extended family-in-law pressures has ridiculously escalated in the form of angsty burrito mama going through another reflexive panic/action/reorganizeandrestructure spasm. I’m actually happy about this latest decision, quite so, but dang, these sudden uprootings and reploppings with our lives every 3 months has got to slow down a little bit. Everything I ever put my own mother through pales to insignificance and I’m out of context to fall back on.
Herxing. I’m not even gonna link that. What friends I have that understand this know I’m best left alone when I’m on antibiotic because I reach my evil villain heights while I herx through simply taming a sinus infection. Depression lies, and nothing kicks it up like a good old fashioned herx.
Another Christmas not seeing the people I *really* want to see.
Ricocheting around social media and setting off misunderstandings because I’m extra aspie when I’m like this, and I’ve come really close to arguing with several people I really like over stupid things that don’t matter. Since I have so much experience with consequences, I know it’s best right now to just put my head through a wall, because I have vowed not to burn any more bridges.
Ok, this just showed up in my twitter interactions. This guy GETS me. #popfail I’m not a bad person, but YES I AM, SMASH IT!!!!
I feel better now.
These vids are getting me through my week. I don’t know why they work, I think it’s the way the sound patterns melt my brain in a weird aspie neural stim, but in case you find them helpful too, here you go.
And if you truly need MORE because your day sucks that badly, I keep this one in reserve. From one of my private blogs, originally dated 11-12-10
I am so thankful for people who create this crap to amuse me when I’m sick.
Star Trek Recap #6 – Perry’s Planet (or, die laughing while you die from illness)
But wait! There’s more!
Star Trek Re-Cap #5 – Spock, Messiah!
Star Trek Re-Cap #7 – Killing Time
Love you guys. Hope you’re doing ok. I know I’m going to be all right.